About Gina……..

I am a Mum, Daughter, Sister, an ex-Wife and now a Current Wife, a Wicked, Wicked Step-Mum (isn’t that right Jonathon?) and a very proud Nanny.   When I married for the second time I was hoping for a title, something along the lines of Dame, Lady or even a Ma’am but fate dished it out a bit lower than that and I am now cheerfully known as Mrs. Kirkham the Third.  My Husband John really does like Wedding cake!

I have a beautiful daughter Emma, who is also my best friend, two amazing step-children, Jonathon and Becky and have been blessed with my gorgeous granddaughters, Olivia and Annie.   Haring around my home causing absolute havoc on a regular basis are my lunatic dogs Bailey & Brodie, better known as Prozac & ADHD.

I was born sometime in the not so swinging 50’s and by the time I had reached my first birthday, my Mum had already left me in my pram outside Woolworths on two separate occasions.  I went to Sunday School minus my knickers, a fact that only became evident by the sheer shock of the cold mahogany seat when I sat on the pew, dressed my dog Kansas in a bonnet and took him for walks in my dolls pram and was once sick all over baby Jesus at the School Nativity Play.

I ballet danced, tap danced and sang dreadfully, adored art, learnt how to darn socks and fell in love with ALL four of  The Beatles.  I bought Puppy Love by Donny Osmond from Woolworths, and this time remembered to take myself home just in case Mum forgot again.

I saved up and bought Alice Cooper’s ‘Schools Out’ as an act of rebellion and being grown up, but my Mum confiscated it, stuck it behind the tea caddy on the kitchen window and by the time I found it, it had melted and warped in the sun.  I cried at my loss and suddenly didn’t feel so rebellious or grown up anymore.

But grow up I did.    I followed the path of marriage, motherhood and divorce and then the next chapter of my life began.

Sometime during October 1988, whilst wearing a pair of dayglow pink legwarmers, kicking leaves and pushing a tricycle, actually it wasn’t any ordinary tricycle, it had a bin on the back for found treasures for my daughter, I suddenly decided that I wanted to follow a lifelong ambition to join the Police. Just like that, an epiphany, a marvellously wonderful, exciting idea. As I trampled through another pile of leaves, carefully avoiding a rather large doggie deposit, but wheeling the bike through a smaller, squishier one, I began to meticulously plan my new career.

It truly never occurred to me that being a single Mum of a little girl, having lived quite a privileged and sheltered life AND being a blonde, that any of these factors would have a serious impact on my dream.

I had a passion, an idealistic idea to give something back, to make a difference.

My chosen career was to take me on a long journey of self-discovery. There were times of tears and heartbreak, fear and trepidation, anger and frustration but above all, there was always laughter.  I had the honour and privilege throughout those years of working with and being the proud work-mate of so many courageous, brave and dedicated colleagues.

Upon my retirement after having sadly said goodbye to what had been a huge part of my life, I suddenly had another wonderful epiphany. This time it was to put pen to paper (or fingers to iPad) to write a book.

I needed an alter-ego for my adventures and lying in bed one night staring at the ceiling and contemplating life as I knew it, MAVIS UPTON was born.

 

MAVIS is a delightful, crisp loving (any flavour), big knicker hating, thirty something blonde with a huge heart, who one day whilst kicking leaves and pushing a tricycle had a wonderful epiphany to join the Police.

Does this sound a little bit familiar?

For Mavis (and me), it was not always plain sailing.

 

HANDCUFFS, TRUNCHEON & A POLYESTER THONG is a humorous and sometimes poignant look at the life, loves and career of an every day girl who followed a dream and began a search for the missing piece of her childhood.

* * * * * * * *


Handcuffs, Truncheon & A Polyester Thong is published by URBANE PUBLICATIONS.  Available for pre-order on Amazon, Watestones and Foyles.  Publication date 18/5/2017 – 

Join Mavis (& Gina of course) at the launch on Thursday 18th May at WATERSTONES Liverpool One.  A night that promises to be full of fun, cupcakes, Prosecco and a free pair of Primark Thongs with every book purchased – what more could anyone want!  Special guest appearances by Luca Veste (Murphy & Rossi series) and the fabulous Lynne Fitzgerald reading as ‘Mavis’…… 

http://www.urbanepublications.com  (Matthew Smith) & Twitter: @urbanepub

 

Current work in progress, WHISKEY, TANGO, FOXTROT – The Further Adventures of Constable Mavis Upton to be published by URBANE PUBLICATIONS Summer 2018

GINA KIRKHAM Β© 2017  

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39 thoughts on “About Gina……..

  1. Gaye Fletcher says:

    Gina, If your book is anything like your blog it will be a huge success, wonderful reading, well done!

  2. martin says:

    Wow gina lovin all tht in the blog xx so lookin forward to readin ths book as its based on u lol xx gud luck with it !!!

  3. lynnstime says:

    Love your blogs Gina. You’re a natural! And so looking forward to reading your book.

    • ginakirkham says:

      Bless you Lynn,
      Keeping my fingers crossed, I think the hardest part will be o find an Agent/Publisher…but I’ve bought the Writers & Artists Year book so hopefully I won’t drop any clangers in the process lol
      Gx

  4. Brigitte says:

    Just come across your blog Gina and its a corker ! Had me chuckling in my Cheerios ! I can’t wait to read more and look forward to the bound to be a success book. You have certainly inspired me to get blogging again. xx

    • ginakirkham says:

      Thank you Brigitte, happy it gave you a giggle.
      It was something I hadn’t considered but a PR friend of mine recommended it as a way of helping me generate interest in my book and to bring ‘Mavis’ alive……..plus life can be miserable enough some days, so it’s nice to think that maybe you can give someone a smile.
      G xxx

  5. david says:

    to you I raise a glass, may your future be as positive as both you r and your past work was. It nice to know you if only a little.

  6. josandelson says:

    Love your style – so refreshing and funny

  7. john ryding says:

    Hello Gina just to say i really enjoyed that and can see you going far you little star!

  8. Lady J Mason says:

    I love reading your blog. I actually laugh out loud LOL. I would be thrilled with this in book form. Not just for myself, but I’d buy it for friends who I know would love it too. I even read snippets to my miserable husband, who has been known to chuckle. Keep up the good work, keep making us laugh, and thanks. Xxxx

  9. Lynda Williams says:

    Hi Gina, I for one can’t wait to read your book. It will be great I am sure and knowing you and your lovely daughter Emma adds much more to it for me. . Your blog is really funny and if the book is the same it will make great reading. Lynda XXX

  10. Liz Price says:

    I really enjoyed reading this, it was interesting and refreshing, It left me wanting to read more, looking forward to the book πŸ™‚

  11. Angie Wren says:

    Hi Gina.. Loving Mave on Twitter.. Can’t wait to see her in her full glory when you get her published.. Hope it’s soon.. She’s a great character..every girl from 30 to 90 will love her.. πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ

  12. Nita says:

    TORCHER!!! UTTER TORTURE I SAY!!!
    Blogs are wonderful things, but this one sucks big time…..Why? Because it gives us a wee tantalising carrot, reels us in, then “poof”….stops!!! leaving one with a feeling reminiscent of the devastational loss I felt when the Beatles split up!!!
    In short, I want the rest…..where’s the rest Gina? I need the rest!!!!!!!

    • ginakirkham says:

      That had me giggling Nita, bless you. It’s an unbelievably long process to do it the correct way (says she with her nose firmly adhered to page 276 of the Writers & Artists Yearbook..!) I’m trying to avoid shouting “Hey youse, wanna print me book” (said in a well practiced Liverpool accent) 😊😊 but there is some light on the horizon, I’ve had a few enquiries on the Agent front & a fab full-read review. I promise I’ll holler “Neet it’s on offer in Aldi fer 60p” if luck shines my way lol Gx

  13. Cracking blog I want to play Mavis when they release the film version x

    • ginakirkham says:

      Lynne you’d be perfect – amazing sense of humour, fabulous comedic acting and timing, couldn’t think of anyone better – with a blonde wig lol Gx

  14. Dave the Dog says:

    Hope to see the book soon Gina. Glad to see the young Spec Con I used to know all those years ago is still going strong. Good luck Hon !

    • ginakirkham says:

      Lol…young being the operative word for all those years ago..! Thank you, I was very blessed with all the fab colleagues I met as a S/Con that gave me the confidence and drive to go on to join Merseyside Police as a ‘regular’, which in turn gave me an amazing career….and a sense of humour…and then a book..! 😊 Gx

  15. Jim McBride says:

    Great reading Gina, To have such a good sense of humour in what can be one of the most difficult jobs.
    Please let us know when you are published, and plenty more to come I hope. Thanks Jim.

    • ginakirkham says:

      Thank you Jim, I’m glad you enjoyed it. The blog has some extracts from the book & some stand alone stories, it helped me to see if readers enjoyed my style of writing. The book is completed but I’m on the hard bit now – getting it represented & published 😬 there are so many excellent writers out there, it’s a very competitive market for a beginner but I’m learning – slowly! Lol Gx

  16. Adrian Pattinson says:

    I only discoverfed your blog and tweets recently but they brighten up my days. Can’t wait for your book.

    • ginakirkham says:

      Thank you so much Adrian, that’s brightened up my day for you to say that. I’m a bit of a novice at the writing, but I’m learning something new every day. I’m keeping my fingers crossed on the publishing side, it’s a hard game to break into. Mavis has so many stories to tell πŸ˜‰ so I’m drafting out a sequel in between nanny duties, dog walking and getting notoriously distracted by…..oh look it’s a seagull….. 😊 Gx

      • Adrian Pattinson says:

        πŸ˜€πŸ˜€Just do what you’re doing already. Just spotted my typo. Will have to work out how to edit that! Joys of tweeting half asleep😳

        Sent from my Sony Xperiaβ„’ smartphone

  17. Ziggy Jones says:

    Really great stuff Gina. I didn’t know you had this blog site and ambitions to be a writer! I will keep an “eye out” for more posts.

  18. Joan Powell says:

    Enjoyed bumping into you at the farm today Gina. I needn’t have been bothered about the feelings about the 95-year-old lady with me when you told me the title of your book, although I was cringing a bit at the time! When we got home she mentioned meeting you and how pretty you are, then quoted the ‘Handcuffs, Truncheon” and “those little things some people wear” whilst indicating the appropriate knicker area!!

    Made me chuckle. I think she might be first in the queue when your book comes out!

    Best of luck.

    Joan

    • ginakirkham says:

      Joan that did make me laugh, thank you, I think the lady behind the counter was a little wide eyed too ☺️. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, as soon as I hear anything I’ll be shouting it from the rooftops. Take care, and I hope to see you again one day. Gina x

  19. Nick Farmer says:

    Loved the book….and eagerly look forward to the sequel πŸ™‚

    Nick

  20. what a fabulous description of your life… you sound like such fun x

    • ginakirkham says:

      What a lovely thing to say Tracy, thank you, hopefully I am..! πŸ˜‹ A smile or a giggle can always make even a bad day seem a little better. Must admit, I’ve been very blessed with what I have…and I’m incredibly wicked on a night out πŸ˜‚ X

  21. David Westby says:

    Hi Gina,
    Andrea and myself are both reading your book at the moment. One of us looking for an insight into what goes on in the closed shop that is policing and one of us a bit nervous that you will have revealed too much.
    Really inspirational to see that you have not only written such a fabulous book but also all the promotional work. Makes me want to go out and be creative. Whrn I know what it is I’m creating I’ll let you know.
    Best wishes,
    Dave

    • ginakirkham says:

      Hi Dave,
      lovely to hear from you and thank you, that’s such a lovely thing to say. Yes, I think a few people held their breath in nervous anticipation, all’s good though….until maybe Book 2 – The Next Decade…!
      Seriously, I had a wonderful career with Merseyside Police, loved every minute and had so many great opportunities there. A fantastic period of my life that I’ll always be so very proud of.
      Now thoroughly enjoying retirement and being a Nanny to two gorgeous granddaughters, I couldn’t wish for anything more in life.
      Let me know when your creativity kicks in, we’ve all got it somewhere!
      Best wishes
      Gina

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