A FINE ROMANCE………

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A FINE ROMANCE……

“I really like him mum……..Joe makes me laugh”

“I’m sure he does sweetheart, but a word of caution.  Your Uncle Percy made Auntie Doris laugh and look what happened to her!”

I screwed my nose up and tried to think.  “What?”

“She got pregnant Mavis, that’s what happened….she got pregnant”

The last three words were emphasised in the fashion of the local Vicar at his Sunday morning sermon.  I quietly waited for hell and damnation to follow.

“Jeez, I’m sure there was a bit more to it than that…!”  I snorted, whilst desperately trying to keep a straight face.

“I’m being serious Mavis, it only takes one giggle and that’s it.  Your Nan was the same; ten giggles led to ten children, you could hardly move in our house for babies, poo and terry nappies.”

Surprised that marriage in the 1930’s would only allow a roll on the horsehair mattress for the sake of pregnancy, I mentally counted up my Aunts and Uncles versus mum’s calculation of giggles to babies ratio.

“Well she must have had a naughty freebie giggle then mum…”

She dropped her glasses to the end of her nose and stared at me.  “What on earth do you mean by having a freebie?”

“Twins mum……one of those giggles produced twins!”  

 

******

Does Mavis find true love?  How will she cope with the well documented excessive shrinkage on Primark Thongs?  What happened to Florence the Fiesta the unwanted patrol car?   Find out in:-

Handcuffs, Truncheon & A Polyester Thong (c) 2016 Gina Kirkham

The life, career and loves of Mavis Upton, a thirty something girl who followed a dream…………….

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